Tag Archives: psalm 118

…for better or for worse…

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I was so excited to get back into my routine of weekly blogs… but sometimes I forget that I have a brain injury.  Now that’s kinda funny!  When other things come up in life… I forget that the way my brain handles stuff is often a sort of prehistoric method. So one insult to injury… becomes two and two become four…  

Bottom line… it is really tricky for me to hold onto my weekly goal of sending out a blog. Frustrating as that may be, a dear friend reminded me, “You aren’t writing for a cooking show that needs a weekly recipe… this is a blog for injured people… they all get it, right? TBI in the works!”

So… I try to write ahead, get things edited in advance, and schedule the website posts weeks ahead… as if I didn’t have a brain injury. However, I do forget to allow a brain-injury-cushion when life just happens! And in my case, this time, I just had a double eye surgery and thought for sure I had enough posts ready… but yeah… you guessed it… I couldn’t even see well enough to hit ‘post’! So, as my vision slowly comes and goes over the next couple of months, I need to set my sights on the famous words of Mr. Incredible as he responds to his impatient children, “We’ll get there when we get there!”

Fellow TBI friends… remember we are all in this together. I keep thinking this is new territory, but many of you have pioneered this way of life before me and can either totally relate… or are getting a good giggle at my crazy expectations for my post-injury life.

“Love is patient and kind…” 1 Corinthians 13:4

Thanks for your patience and kindness with me! I appreciate your comments and likes (my husband and dear editing friend can read… so I have seen some of your notes but am waiting to respond until I can see well enough to do so). BUT, the BEST part about hearing from you is knowing that I am not alone! Remember that you are not alone either, in your invisible illness or injury!

 

P.S. The eye surgery (corneal cross-linking) that I had done has nothing to do with my TBI… to my former colleagues who thought I was overdoing it using colored paper, Sharpies and colored pens… remember this is why! 🙂 However, this eye surgery is a new development in a procedure to help people with a rare eye disease called keratoconus. Here is a video that you should pass along if you know someone with this eye disease…

new FDA approved keratoconus procedure

*This document is the sole property of L. Marie Drake -assisted by M. K. © 2017.  Permission granted for printing copies of this page on the basis that they are not used for personal profit or any financial gain. Thank you.*

mid-month news & info  ~ june 2017

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“This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”        Psalm 118:24

*NEWS*

  • Depression is another Invisible Illness, so we would like to highlight it on tripping Up the Down escalator.  It is one of those things that hides inside of us and often gets overlooked by the outside world. In fact, most people suffering from depression are very good at disguising it… even as they try to plow through their daily routine! Fortunately, we have had Jill volunteer to share her personal story so that…
    • we can know that we are not alone!
    • we can learn more about the signs and symptoms of depression as we help ourselves or loved ones through this difficult place.
    • we can consider sharing our own story in some way.
  • Please read Jill’s story about her struggle with depression (you can click on the blue link or you can find her story in U R NOT alone… our stories).  Please pray for her continued healing and the healing of others battling this Invisible Illness.
  • Another personal story was shared via a song. At age 18, Mandy suffered an Invisible Illness that changed her life forever. You may have heard this on TV… we now have it included on our site in U R NOT alone… our stories… mandy’s story/song. 
  • Sometime in July… we will open On the Lighter Side!  This section will be its own sort of blog – digging into male and female thinking, rationale, observations, and plain old common sense (or plain old lack of it). As we walk through this life… we at tUtDe are trying to remember to smile. We hope you will too! 🙂

Info

  • We did it!!  You no longer need to have your eyes working today!! So far, we have successfully added “listening links” to the following areas.
    • The home page
    • Blog:  part I…what just happened? 
    • Blog:  part II… FROM THE TOP
      • See this icon at the end of an article to retrieve:  listeninglinkzzzz listening link

 

  • Share – SHARE –share!  Please consider sharing a trial you have had in your life and how you are dealing with it from day to day; how you have found a blessing in it; or maybe you are deep in the middle of the chaos that comes with a life-changing illness and you just need ‘sharing therapy’ to weed through the days?  We thank Jill for courageously sharing… let her courage be yours!
    • Worried you cannot write your story?…. Still contact us and we’d be happy to help you by either writing it with you/for you; editing it with you; or maybe even recording it instead?
    • We have two friends working on sharing. One will share with us about her challenges with PTSD and another about life with Fibromyalgia.
  • If you appreciate our website, please consider “following” it via your email. No worries… this won’t dominate your daily mail… you will only receive an email when we post our weekly blogs.  This will help our ratings and spread the hope to more people in need!  Thanks.
*This document is the sole property of L. Marie Drake © 2017.  Permission granted for printing copies of this page on the basis they are not used for personal profit or any financial gain. Thank you.*

caught between a rock & a hard place

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In French they express this thought by stating “entre deux chaises” (between two chairs).  I picture it a bit like when you start sitting down and someone else does the same… aiming for the same chair… the adult version of a kid’s cake walk!?  With your bum balanced in mid-air, where do you go now?

But that is just how I feel when I waiver between self-pity and mounds of guilt.  If I’m having a ‘confusing day’…meaning nothing really feels right;  tastes right;  looks right;  is done right;  etc… everything I attempt that day, I cannot accomplish… but I still think I can, or should (see Calendar Credit for quick relief Image result for emoji faces ).  

With that old-me-drive pushing forward, even after 6+ years of a traumatic brain injury under my belt, I still attempt to go about life as it were the 44 years before this silly little concussion changed my life…

For example… in a feeble attempt of wandering out of my bedroom, hoping for an easy lunch, I try to clean up the kitchen from breakfast.  I put a few dishes in the dishwasher, put the salt & pepper away and then I come across a paper someone laid on the counter yesterday.  Ooops!  That’s the trigger and I’m off…  hmmm… what should I do about that paper?  It has someone’s  number on it that I have been needing to call.  But, I can’t really talk right now because I am cleaning the kitchen and my head isn’t really clear and if I talk to that person it might involve making some decisions… oooh and the pressure of just thinking about that makes me a little dizzy and queasy.  I’ll call my husband and see what he thinks I should do.  No, then I will need to explain all my emotions with the back-story and he’s at work so… yeah… and that just makes me exhausted thinking about trying to explain this silly little decision.  

……… Oh, I’m so tired ….. I should just go lie down when I feel like this.  Right.  I’m going to lie down… but I’ll be more relaxed if I go potty first.  Yes… potty then bed.  Coming out of the bathroom … dang … I see the kitchen is still a mess and I’m hungrier than ever because… oh yeah… that’s why I was cleaning the kitchen so that I would have a clean counter top to make my lunch on!  Right!  So what do I do with this piece of paper?  If I put it away, I will probably lose it and then I won’t ever call that person back.  Oh, a kid just came through the kitchen, she’s hungry too.

AAAAAAHHHHHH!

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So at this point, advice from my TBI brain experts, directs me to give myself a break and just say, “It’s a bad brain day.  Roll with it.  Let go.”  But how do I even get to that break??  Strangely, I cannot get to my bed… which isn’t far away in our little 1,000 sq ft house!  Yet I’m in that dream…. the one where you are running but your legs won’t move.  And… do I really want to give in to this injury?  NO!  I will keep running UP the DOWN escalator… I’ll get there.  I will.  But should I decide that I need to give up??? …well that is much like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.  It makes me feel like I am giving into the injury with self-pity sneaking a peek at me from around one corner and the old-me peering from the opposite corner, silently yelling, “You can do this…it’s easy stuff.  You just did it yesterday and you were fine!”  

So which chair do I sit on?  Ooops that’s another decision… with now loaded and squandered emotions…   

I can’t move…

STOP!  Just STOP!  Get off the escalator.  And think on this…  and this alone…

“This IS the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  Psalm 118:24

That’s it. Even though it seems all messy.  He made this day too…like all others.  If I stop, rejoice in what is here, let go, give gratitude… this day will pass. Tomorrow will be new.  And HE has me in the palm of His hand.  Yes, that’s my solace… there’s really just one chair to sit on.  The one He has for me.

*This document is the sole property of L. Marie Drake © 2017.  Permission granted for printing copies of this page on the basis they are not used for personal profit or any financial gain. Thank you.*